How many times have you found yourself go through the day with a blur and at the end of the day realize that time just flew and you haven’t even taken a moment for yourself?
Women are especially guilty of trying to juggle multiple things at once. We make everything else a priority before taking the time out for ourselves. When you have kids it becomes especially hard to find that time. I can’t count how many times I look at the clock and think about how time flies. There just doesn’t seem to be any time in the day to do everything that I would like to do as something always seems to come up. To be honest, I have even stopped caring so much about the condition of my house in order to save my sanity. But with a 4-month old demanding baby and a toddler running around sometimes I feel that I don’t even have the energy to make that time for myself no matter how hard I try.
In her book, The Fringe Hours Jessica Turner talks about making time to do things that matter to you no matter how busy life gets, even if it seems there aren’t enough hours in a day.
“Wake up. Dress and feed the kids. Barely get makeup on. Leave. Drop the kids off at school. Stop at the bank. Work, work, work. Fill the gas tank. Pick up kids and rush home. Prepare dinner as quickly as possible to avoid the cries for snacks. Baths. Stories. Bedtime. Clean up the kitchen. Chat with my husband. Fill out that permission slip. Respond to email. Fall into bed.
Sound like a typical day in your life? Or at least a variation of it?”
Jessica describes this common phenomenon very well in her book which focuses on self-care and how to make the time for yourself. In talking about the balance challenge she touches on the topic we have discussed many times on Mommy Culture (see Finding a Balance, Return to Work or Stay at Home, Balancing Family and Work, Can we Have it all?) Women are constantly wrestling with trying to balance it all.
When Jessica surveyed women about what they think is most challenging about being a woman today many of the responses were about finding the balance of being a good wife, mother, employee, friend, and wanting to be the best mom at creating moments for our children and at the same time trying to find a work life that “validates” us as independent women.
Does all this sound too familiar to you? These are many of the things I struggle with as well.
Jessica makes a good point that we sometimes tend to fill our lives with things that are good things that make a positive impact on our family, but just because they are good things it doesn’t mean that they are good for us, for right now. In order to not allow too many of these “good” things to invade our lives and create stress, we have to learn to say no, prioritize or even eliminate things entirely.
I haven’t yet picked up my copy of this book but I am going to make the time to grab this great read.
The Fringe Hours may be just the boost we all need to take back the reins on our life and find ways to take care of ourselves. Whether it is an hour a day or an hour a week this book seems to offer some great ways to do so.
Jessica Turner is wife, mom, marketing professional and founder of the popular lifestyle blog The Mom Creative. There she documents her pursuit of cultivating a life well-crafted, through posts mostly on parenting, memory keeping and frugal living. Jessica is also an (in)courage writer, co-host of the Bloom Book Club and an advocate for World Vision .