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10 Things I love (hate) about Tamil functions

Well I know you’re thinking this every time you go out to a Tamil function, so I’m just gonna say it. There are things we love about Tamil functions and there are things we hate. Here are some really ridiculous things we have put ourselves through over the years.

1. You can show up any time. If the event is set to start at 6, Then you know it will probably start sometime around 9:30 ish..or whatever.

2. If you are an accessory fanatic, you can pull out all your bling bling from the closet. You simply cannot be outdone!

3. There is no set agenda. Things happen whenever…and you know…whatever.

4. If you are a woman and decided to recycle your outfit from a function months ago, there’s a chance someone in the event will remember you wore it and will make sure you know it. “Ahh I love this saree on you, It looked so good the last time you wore it at xxxx”. Gotta love compliments!

5. If you’re a guy you can wear the same shirt and tie or suit over and over again and nobody really cares…because let’s face it, it’s all about how good the women look.

6. If you have even slightly put on a few pounds you will hear something along the lines of “Oh looks like you’re getting some good food”; If you have lost any weight or even remotely look like you’re trying to you’ll hear a gasping “Oh my god are you ok? you look sick? why aren’t you eating?”

7. If you’re trying to eat healthy, just forget it. You’ll be taunted with deliciously greasy, spicy food, given weird looks, and eventually someone will drop a vadai on your plate demanding that you try it before they stop serving it.

8. There will always be an open bar as no one would buy any drinks otherwise. And if you’re a woman and happen to hit the bar to get something then you might as well burn a hole right through the ground and disappear in it.

9. If you have ever excluded anyone from a party you threw even years ago for whatever reason you better be prepared to face some whiplash. You will be put on the spot and asked why they weren’t invited. It helps to have a few excuses handy ahead of time. If you’re married you can always blame it on the fact that your spouse has too many relatives.

10. Don’t even think about leaving at a set time. You’ll never be able to say good-byes as nobody wants to be left out of the latest gossip about that guy who used to drive that Civic who is now driving an Audi, or who got married to who.

As comical as this list is, it’s true. Ah but I still love going to Tamil events.

So see you at the next one. Just don’t show up too early or wear the same outfit again because that’s just plain silly.

…Saumea…

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